How the opening round of the Aussie Nats would have panned out if Billy raced a full-factory TARDIS…

So I beam down and arrive at a sunny Conondale which is a small town up on the sunshine coast of Queensland. The track is looking really nice and well prepped. Its an undulating hardpack track set within green rolling hills. Everyone is happy and excited to get racing, the team set-ups are looking fancy and all the new bikes are on display. There are lots of campers and tents everywhere, like the good old days at Foxhill for the British GP. It’s a perfect weekend to go racing.

Practice starts and I’m getting the track dialled in. The bike is brand new so it takes a while to get used to compared to my old practice steed. After a few laps though she starts to feel nice, the power is strong and the fresh tyres are hooking up lovely. The track has a really cool flow with lots of big floaty jumps in and out of the rolling valleys. I notice this one photographer on the sickest jump on the track and do a little showing off as I spin the laps! I’m feeling good and the clock is counting down until timed practice starts so I make sure I do one last lap to find my lines before I do my first flying lap.


The track is over two minutes long and full of jumps so it’s gonna be a fun race. The top guys all go at it for pole position and in the end I get it by 0.4 secs (this is my story of the future after all)…

The first race gets going and I go down at the first corner so I jump in my time capsule and set it to the start of the race again. This time I’m third by the end of the first lap, pushing hard to catch Marmont and Brad. Brad makes a huge mistake and almost backflips off the finish line – he’s just about to crash hard but I use the time capsule to take him back the corner before and save him. Rule one of being a time capsuleer is you have to only use it to do good. So we hit the finish line jump in style this time, he even does a look back as if to say ‘did that just happen?’ (don’t ever tell him if you see him readers).

We’re all battling it out pretty hard at the front and I’m kinda just sitting back watching the front two go at it when I start thinking about the AMA Supercross for some reason – I wanna know who wins the final race so I set the time capsule for the last AMA SX in Vegas!

I’m in the VIP at Monster Energy in Vegas for the last round. Dungey is back and it looks like he is the only one to be able to try keep up with Villopoto. The Main Event gets under way and Villopoto smokes it – he’d already won the championship three rounds before – so I get bored and head to the casino! I’m at the blackjack table with Johnny Depp to my left and a pole dancing midget to my right and I’m up $96,000 so I take my winnings and set the capsule back to the Australian MX National.

I’m back running a comfortable third and watching the boys go at it. I’m biding my time and looking for lines to make an attack. I’m feeling a bit dizzy from watching the roulette wheel go round and the money in my Smuggling Duds boxers is weighing me down. I decide I’d better make my move with three laps to go. I move up on Brad, he hits Marmont in a tight left-hander and I slip through into the lead. Race one win for MacKenzie!

Race two and Coppins pulls the holeshot. I’m in second and going at it. The race is five laps in and all of a sudden I get black flagged? I see the black flag for three laps until I realise it is being aimed at me. I have to pull in thinking I’m just gonna get a stop and start penalty for something I didn’t know I’d done. As I stop they tell me I’m disqualified for having my cuffs cut off my race jersey! I take the black flag and stick it somewhere the official is uncomfortable with, do a doughnut round him and roost the other officials. I’m really angry but I know I can’t use the time capsule for my own benefits so I set off in a charge for the lead.

I’m back in 10th place but I’ve got the red mist going on. I’m working my way up the field, pulling some crazy moves, scrubbing the jumps and railing the outsides. I make it up to fourth place with a lap to go, all of a sudden the race is red flagged due to the official having some sort of medical problem in the middle of the track! Before a decision is made to make the race count I quickly use the time capsule to go back in time and save the official’s life and using the time capsule for the greater good earns some good karma and we start the second race like nothing had happened. I even put on a fresh full-sleeved shirt and take the win!